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The Penis Was: Revisited

2010-06-03 01:48:47 by Funkybob2

Here is a plot analysis of 'The Penis Was'(keep in mind, this is my subjective interpretation; keep and open mind and try to find your own meaning):

Chapter one:

Atlas is eating a pizza, lamenting over his rape by black priests after being baptised("n****rs splashed me" being a reference to the baptism). Suddenly, his lover comes in with Muldoon the Cheese, Nig-Nogs, and Buttfukenmouthanus. She confesses her love for Muldoon, and Atlas is promptly shot.

Chapter 2:

Religion has collapsed. Nazi androids have taken over the world, using negros as sex slaves, and depriving Jews of education. As such, Jews must resort to prostitution, a miserable existence which makes them ponder the purpose behind their existence. "Avalanche" alludes to how many whore Jews there are. This shabby treatment was all the result of the world's former queen, Veronica Orgin(Clevergirl from chapter one, who became queen shorting after killing Atlas) failed to propagate the species, thus allowing the androids to take over. Meanwhile, Penis and Dickbutt discuss Objectivism.


At this segment in chapter 2, we switch perspectives to a dying young man named Fan. His lip quivers, remembering the earthquake which resulted in the untimely doom of him and his companions, one of whom(Gibson) has been pecked apart by ravenous animals. His female companion has fused with the German doctor to create a hypersexual zoophiliac who sees a horse and feels lust. Meanwhile, the homosexual flowers are eating the stone hats atop statues of children in an abandoned kingdom, representing the petrification and deterioration of innocence, as well as the collapse of primitive culture.

Chapter 3:

The third and final chapter is ironically, the simpliest of them. It dictates the inner workings of a trangendered child murderer in these harsh, dystopian times, his lack of treatment, and how the justice system has collapsed so much that the police force consists of mentally ill Brazillians, who ask themselves why this deranged killer hadn't yet been caught and documented. The man quickly kills one of them, then goes into an incomprehensible frenzy, spouting prophetic wisdom that no one can understand, and pass it off as demon possesion. The killer laments his fate, and dies.

'The Penis Was' by /lit/

2010-06-02 16:35:56 by Funkybob2

My colleagues and I at /lit/ compiled this paragon of artistic expression, with each of us contributing a few words. So, without further ado, I present you with the most poignant tale since 'The Divine Comedy', The Penis Was.


by /lit/

Chapter 1

Eats a pizza ethereal with...when all of a sudden, n****rs splashed me. I didn't pulled my shattered back, because anus was bleeding behind enemy church virginity.

"Muldoon the Cheese was fountainhead," whistled Clevergirl.

"Holy shit, shit" screamed Atlas, falling.

Shanked it into beforehand. Another lover? Ridiculous, magnificent poop.

Clevergirl: "Potatoes, my love. Skinned."

Shrugged. "NIG-NOGS! Shoot Atlas, cuntface," said Buttfukenmouthanus. "YOU PIECE BIGHOMOS SHIT!"


Chapter 2

It came to. Needed Homes' pages because jesus didn't get out. N****rs is android's sex, and feels so masochistic. Avalanche whore Jews fathomed existence

because Veronica Origin can't assbutt.

Penis: "Objectivism isn't hard."

Dickbutt: "Since Jews, cocks, communists, slapped killed shitting jazz, daughter through gravy."


"Earthquake...", moaned fan's moustache.

Gibson becomes sandwich eventually. Into it, Dog-penis Helen was Dr. Faustus.

Horse. Abysmal, bare-back, LUSCIOUS...

The homosexuals floral killed asinine ransacked hats atop mountains mad with children covered in in moss.

Chapter 3:

Lipstick lying possibly upon me. I death eater. I fucking murdered lost children, millions of children, ways horrible.

To justify: Behold my penis, intestines, my cherry pie.

Sweetly the swede, penis in caverns deep, circumscribed in rivers of blood and semen, silently through exploding. "It's long enough", I say.

Never home, space, buttfuck glittering cosmonauts. Pick me up. Whiskey headcrabs dancing, all night long.

People sometimes mislead popcorn, too much beautiful.

"How to be dolphins dongs?" ask Brazilians. "WHY HASN'T THIS BEEN ARCHIVED YET?!"

Since Dukes of Hazard, swandive is died. Realfuckin'neato. Tits? Please!

"Captivate," screeched Antiestablishmentarianism faggot

Lopado-temacho-selacho-galeo-kranio-le ipsano-drim-hypo-trimmato-silphio-para o-melito-kat
-akechy-meno-kichl-epi-kossypho-phatto -perister-alektryon-opte-kephall

io-kigklo-peleio-la goio-siraio-baphe-tragano-pterygon

Please Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwl lllantysiliogogogoch.

Nobody shouldn't buttfuck "Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagu ngamaugg" the messiah, since Nails' pheremones are eructation.


FUCK, you're becoming the demons john!


I will be posting a plot analysis shortly.

Silent Hill plot summary

2009-12-29 02:23:32 by Funkybob2

I just beat this game again, and I've decided to jot down the plot of the game(primarily the prior events) to serve as a reminder when I replay the game in the future, or in case I just want to know about the plot. NOTE: If you chose to read this, there will be spoilers.


In the town of Silent Hill, there is a cult known as "The Order", which has a predominant influence on the town. The Order's major belief is in a God, whom, once summoned, will usher in an apocalypse in which the sinners and heretics are slaughtered, and The Order rules in a paradise. The Order's activities are funded through the distribution of "PVT"(White Claudia) through Dr. Michael Kaufmann, a man who, despite a close associate of The Order, doesn't fully grasp their intentions. He is also director of the town's hospital.

An important figure in The Order is Dahlia Gillespie, who ultimately decides to use her daughter, Alessa(an ideal candidate due to the strong telekenetic abilities she displayed), as a vessel for the birth of the God, so that she may hold a position of power after the ensuing apocalypse. This was done through a ritual which involved the participant being burned alive so as to bring about the immense suffering which attracts The Order's God. However, the ritual is botched, due to Alessa's resistance(knowing that the birth of the God would result in an apocalypse, she botched the ritual by allowing half of her soul to escape, taking the form of an infant) leaving Alessa barely alive, and leaving only half of the God's soul in her body. The second half of Alessa's soul is picked up on the roadside by the game's protagonist, Harry Mason, as well as his critically ill wife.

Meanwhile, Alessa's physical body is left in the care of Nurse Lisa Garland in the basement storeroom of the hospitial, who in exchange for her silence, is given the powerful hallucenegenic drug known as White Claudia from Dr. Kaufmann, which she has become hopelessly addicted to. When she refuses to care for Alessa anymore(who's been kept alive through an incantation which will increase her suffering, thus drawing the second half of the soul back to her, so that they'll reunify and commit suicide) due to the stress and horror it puts on her, she dies(how is ambiguous; I think it's as a result of PVT withdrawl).

Meanwhile, Kaufmann gets fed up with having to keep Alessa in care for an indefinite amount of time, and, realizing that he's being used, begins to amass a supply of aglaopathis, a chemical mixture made from herbs which repel evil spirts, and as such can cancel out the effects of possession, thus botching/preventing the birth of God, so that he could exact his revenge.

Around this time is when the game actually starts. Harry Mason's wife has since died, and he's going to Silent Hill(where they had previously vaccationed) for a vacation with his daughter, Cheryl(The second half of Alessa's soul; Cheryl insisted on going to Silent Hill for the vaccation, of course not realizing why). However, while on their way, Alessa begins to sense the return of her soul, and as a result, the town is engulfed in a Purgatory-esque "Fog World", which is occasionally invaded by the 'Otherworld', a manifestation of Alessa's constant pain and fear, due to her regained power.

I'll(maybe) post the present events later. The backstory is what matters, though. I'm posting on a computer with all updates and whatnot to see if it'll let me post.

Greatest. Song. EVAR.

2008-04-20 15:48:01 by Funkybob2

If you disagree, you are wrong.

Unless of course, it's this one.

EDIT: Shit, it's been removed. Ah well, it was "A Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd.

Now presenting: "I Wrote This" by Patrick Star

2008-01-04 23:43:56 by Funkybob2

Twinkle, Twinkle patrick star

I made myself a sandwich
My mommy named it fred
It tastes like beans&bacon
And it smells like it's been dead!

Writing is hard
So I use a pointy pencil

pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy point

What's that horrible smell?

I have a head
It ends in a point

Pointy Pointy Pointy Pointy Pointy Point

What's that horrible smell?

I am pointy

Pointy Pointy Pointy Pointy Pointy Point

This song is over
Except 4 this line:
You win this round


You can't stop...Da Funk

2007-12-20 22:23:32 by Funkybob2

I'm moving up the ladder and soon I'll be more powerful than ever. With my profile picture(of Kakihara from "Ichi the Killer" in case you're wondering), my high roller level, my post count, my flash flicks(abeit not that bitchin', but that'll change), and my all around Funkyness, you're all powerless to stop me. With the possible exception of Tom Fulp. SO LET'S GO TO FUNKYTOWN!

I have the original, now AO-rated cut of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and thanks to Action Replay MAX, I was able to get the infamous "Hot Coffee" mod onto my copy, by typing up the big-ass code for it, taking about 1/2 a hour, including goof-ups. It was difficult to play at first, but I got the hang of it. Its kinda sexy, BTW. Though perhaps that may vary based on how your CJ looks. That aside, I only installed it for the principal of getting the most for my money, and probably won't be visiting it again.

I finally got off my lazy ass...

2007-11-14 18:08:57 by Funkybob2

...and got a news post icon. So, what do you think? I wanted to try some other things, but they weren't in .gif format.

Also, me and some other people from The Horror Club are probably going to make a horror collab/flash movie.

This also marks the first time I used the news post feature for something other than meaningless crap, with the exception of my birthday.

Oh, and my challenge one news post back is still going down.

You will. Just try not to.